This Is What I Get For Not Listening the First Time

Have you ever felt God calling you to something, or sensed He wanted you to take a particular path, but you let someONE—or someTHING—steer you elsewhere, only to realize later it was the wrong move? I learned the hard way that God doesn't always speak through everyone. Just because someone feels you should so something a certain way, doesn't mean that God is behind it.

That’s the history of Simply Worth HER™ — a calling I delayed, an identity I wrestled with, and a healing journey I could no longer ignore.

What started as a calling, went off course quickly, and it was all my fault. I let other people’s opinions, my own impatience, and my refusal to take small steps, first culminate in me returning to the place I should have never left:

the place where God told me to go the first time.

In other words, whatever God laid on my heart to do was exactly what I should have done.

I rearranged, tweaked, erased, and wasted so much time trying to do it my way or someone else’s way when I should have done this God’s way.

This is what I get for not listening the first time.

With that said, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Yolanda Rhynes, and I am the founder of Simply Worth HER™, a mentoring program dedicated to helping women heal from father abandonment and rejection so they can reclaim their worth, voice, and identity.

I know firsthand how it feels to be rejected, abandoned, and convinced you are not enough. I spent a good portion of my life trying to fit in, trying to be accepted, trying to be “normal,” only to be left feeling like something was—and always would be—wrong with me.

This began with my father. Don’t get me wrong — I love him and always will — but his absence left me wounded, scorned, and limping. I struggled in family relationships because I felt incomplete. I struggled in romantic relationships because I desperately wanted someone to accept me. I struggled in friendships because I was introverted, hiding in my safe space, often viewed as “weird,” or hiding the fact that I faked being something I wasn’t just to fit in.

And as a result… I battled perfection every single day.

My thinking altered. I felt I needed to be perfect to be accepted. I needed to be the right weight. My hair had to be perfect. I had to live in the right area and drive the right car. Every I dotted. Every T crossed. Everything decent. Everything in order.

I built Yolanda’s perfect world — a world I had to create because the world found me imperfect. Especially my dad.

Boy, did I learn the hard way.

I worried too much about what the world thought of me instead of how God already saw me.

I’m still trying to lose weight — every day. My hair is a mess most days. I’m aging. We're apartment living as we haven't found a house yet. My I’s aren’t dotted. My T’s aren’t crossed. And if I’m honest, I don’t even hold the pen.

Nothing is ever fully decent or in order — and maybe it never was supposed to be.

Some wounds weren’t caused by what others did to me, but by the choices I made trying to survive the pain.

But there is a God who sees what others can’t see.

He saw me when I felt overlooked, unseen, and unimportant. I pushed through — and you can too.

So, let me ask you:

Do you see yourself in my story? Do you wake up some days dreading to face the world — another day of being unseen, unheard, or feeling unimportant? How does it feel knowing that when you are noticed, it’s often only to meet someone else’s need? Do you feel like you’re just existing and not truly living?

Did you lose your voice?

This is what Simply Worth HER™ is about:

HER healing — from wounds you didn’t cause and wounds created while trying to cope

HER voice — no longer silenced or shrinking

HER identity — rooted, whole, and secure

HER restoration — reclaiming what was lost

HER becoming — stepping fully into who she was always meant to be

The purpose of this mentoring program is to help you find yourself again. And regardless of how it all started, it doesn’t have to end the same way. I wish I could have shared all the special moments with my Father. But, I let his choice to stay away consume me.

I can't let other people's issues become mine.

Maybe this is what happens when we don’t listen the first time.

We try to perfect what was never meant to be performed, numb what was meant to be healed, and control what was meant to be surrendered.

But grace meets us anyway.

And if I’m learning anything now, it’s this: it’s never too late to listen again. It’s never too late to choose differently. And it’s never too late to begin healing — not into perfection, but into wholeness.

Healing from an absent father is not a straight path, and your journey is uniquely yours. Every step you take toward understanding, acceptance, and wholeness matters. You are worthy of love, belonging, and the life you dream of, and your story deserves to be honored.