I sat there staring at the blank page, unsure of how to begin. The instructions were simple yet profound: write a letter about your grief journey. The purpose wasn’t to deliver the letter to anyone—it was meant to process loss, make peace, and take a step toward healing.
I was attending a class at my church called Grief Recovery, designed to help people navigate any kind of loss they were struggling with. As I sat there, my mind was swirling with thoughts and emotions. To be honest, I should not have been sitting in that class to begin with. Yet, because of a mistake I made, there I was—face-to-face with my brokenness.

I never admitted to being perfect. I never admitted to doing everything right. As a matter of fact, I had to learn a lot of things the hard way. Let me be transparent: the letter I was trying to write wasn’t about losing a loved one, a broken friendship, or hurt feelings. It was about an inappropriate relationship I knew I had to let go of—a relationship that left me with shame, regret, and a sense of betrayal.
This is my story:
I got caught up in something I shouldn’t have.
I believed the lie that this person genuinely cared about me.
I endured the whispers, judgment, and the tarnishing of my reputation.
I felt the sting of betrayal from confiding in someone who later used it against me.
This is what rejection does. When no one tells you how valuable you are, you start seeking validation in all the wrong places. The sad part is, I never found it in those places. My breakthrough came when I walked away, surrendered it to God and finally let go—completely.
I don't want you to waste time like I did. I don't want you to waste your tears, lose sleep or try to numb the pain in unhealthy ways. I don't want you to be like me and wait for an apology that never comes. My prayer is that you too can walk in freedom with your head held high.
Step 1: Acknowledge the Pain
Healing begins with acknowledging the hurt. For me, rejection had deep roots. My father’s absence planted seeds of unworthiness, and while my mother raised me well, we never talked about navigating womanhood. I made choices that left me drowning in guilt and pain. Without having the proper foundations implemented into you, you will find yourself diving into waters too strong for you to stay afloat. Healing begins when you are able to face your mistake and understand that no matter what was going on around you, or who was doing what, what you did was wrong. And it hurts. Really bad. And to be truthful, you are not okay.
I won’t sugarcoat it: the healing process is hard. You will cry. You might numb the pain in unhealthy ways. You’ll feel isolated, misunderstood, and angry—angry that no one warned you and angry at yourself for falling into the trap. But here’s what I realized: God allowed the isolation because He wanted me all to Himself. I had to learn to love Him again so I could love myself again.
Healing isn’t instant. You will pray repeatedly, confessing your mistakes and asking for forgiveness because the pain doesn’t vanish overnight. But each prayer is a step closer to freedom. Acknowledge what you’ve done and the pain you feel. Face it head-on. This is the start of your journey.
Step 2: Rediscover Your Worth
You are not defined by your mistakes. Psalm 139:13 reminds us that God knew us before we were even formed in the womb. That means He knew you, loved you, and had a plan for you—even before the hurt and bad choices.
But sometimes we miss what God is trying to tell us. Maybe you weren't raised in the church. Maybe you don't have a concept of God. Maybe you didn't have a religious upbringing. Regardless, God has a plan for you. Just because you didn't follow God's plan does not mean He hates you. It does not mean he doesn't love you. God doesn't require perfection. He wants your heart. God can work with you if your heart is in the right place. This means that despite any mistakes you may have made, He sees you worth working with. He sees your potential. Do you really think God cares about what you did in the past?
I believed for a long time that God was angry with me because of my past. But here’s what I learned: He already paid the price for my mistakes—and yours—on the cross. The only person still holding on to the shame was me. If God can see your worth, why can’t you? I mentioned before about God having a plan for your life. Well, I have even better news for you. God can restore those plans so don't think all is lost. He can put you back on the road to recovery.
Start by building a foundation of self-worth. Read scriptures that remind you of your value. Surround yourself with people who will encourage and uplift you. Pursue the dreams God has placed on your heart. Maybe it’s going back to school, finishing a book, or helping others who’ve walked a similar path. Whatever it is, pray about it and take action. Some woman out there needs to see the worth in you so you can help them find the worth in themselves. Don't be a victim of your past. What is done is done and God still loves you and that makes you worth something. Let it go and begin to work on a vision for your future.
Step 3: Lean on Faith
Healing is not a solo journey. You need a supportive community. Find a good church, get connected, and protect yourself from triggers that might lead you back into the pain. Triggers could be a song, a memory, or even a conversation that takes you back to the relationship or the person.
As you draw closer to God, distractions will come to pull you off course. This is why it’s essential to lean on your faith. Spend time in the Word and seek out resources to help you grow spiritually. If you’re new to church or unfamiliar with the Bible, there are tools and groups—like Simply Worth H.E.R.—to guide you along the way.
You don’t have to be religious to start healing, but I can tell you from experience that faith made all the difference for me. The prayers, encouragement, and support from people who truly cared helped me move forward when I couldn’t do it on my own.
Your Journey Matters
I’m sharing my story because I don’t want you to feel alone like I did. If you’re struggling with rejection, shame, or the pain of a broken relationship, know that healing is possible. God still has a plan for your life. You are worthy, loved, and capable of walking in freedom.
If this resonates with you, and you're looking for mentoring or support for your specific situation I’d love to walk alongside you on your journey. Simply Worth H.E.R. is a safe space to grow, heal, and thrive. Visit www.simplyworthher.com or email me at simplyworthher@gmail.com. Everything shared is strictly confidential unless you choose to share it.
Remember: every step forward, no matter how small, brings you closer to healing and growth.
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